|Season Pilot, Episode 1|
|Air date||November 23, 2013|
|N/A||A Pox on Your Pox|
Golan wants to make Alexis fall in love with him so he goes to the Ragin' Fun Bayou with her and abandons his plans for the blood moon death orgy with Dylan.
Dylan and Golan crash a town meeting to announce a death orgy celebrating the Sex Moon Feast of All Sex, on Thursday. He intends to hold the orgy in the gazebo at the Tarnhill Community Park, but the Mayor informs him that Mackenzie B has already reserved the gazebo for her ninth birthday party. Also, Mrs. Budnick informs Golan he needs to fill out the proper paperwork to reserve the gazebo, but Golan gets upset because he'd tried to do that, but the computer didn't display the paperwork properly, and he doesn't understand human technology.
Later, Alexis goes on a date with Keith, and Golan awkwardly asks Dylan if she thinks Alexis likes him. Then Carole and Richard come to tell them that Carole has to drive Richard to the courthouse to get his license back, because Golan had "borrowed" Richard's car and had a traffic violation. So they put Golan in charge of babysitting Dylan. Golan protests, saying he doesn't care about her well-being, which Dylan thinks is cool. Also, Golan flirts with Carole. Also, Golan and Richard both mock Keith's "BAD BOY" license plate. After her parents leave, Dylan wants to throw a brick at the mailman, but instead Golan wants to watch TV. However, he gets upset because his DVR season pass for "Top Chef" didn't record the new season. He then sees a commercial for Ragin' Fun Bayou water park, which is where Alexis and Keith went. So Golan decides to go there.
Alexis is annoyed to see Dylan and Golan, but Keith invites Golan to hang out with them and their friends. So now Golan likes Keith and joins the teenagers in mocking Dylan. While Golan is on the water slide, Dylan goes missing, which neither Keith nor Alexis care about. But Golan is concerned, and decides to look for her. Finally, he makes an angry announcement over the PA system. Then Keith says he found Dylan, but Golan assumes he kidnapped her, and beats him to a pulp, using a brick Dylan gives him. Before Golan can sexualize Keith's remains, Alexis stops him, and tells him Dylan was just hiding in the food court. Golan apologizes to Keith, and an ambulance takes Keith to the hospital. Dylan teases Golan for proving that he actually does care whether she lives or dies, though he still denies it. Later, Dylan, Golan, Carole, and Richard all joke about what Golan had done to Keith. But Alexis is angry, and calls Golan crazy.