Dylan Beekler

Dylan Beekler is the main protagonist of Golan the Insatiable. She serves as Golan's fervently loyal acolyte and best friend. She is presumably the daughter of Carole Beekler and the younger sister of Alexis Beekler, although later revelations would throw these previously established facts into question. She is voiced by Aubrey Plaza.

Biography
As revealed in the episode Golan the Impregnable, when she was three years old, Dylan was a happy-go-lucky, all-American child who enjoyed lollipops, puppies and rainbows. At the time, Keith was her best friend and they spent a lot of time together, until Keith met Alexis and fell in love with her. The two of them started dating and he abandoned Dylan, which was a traumatic and horrible moment that left a mental scar in her life. As well as a literal one, causing Dylan to lacerate her lower eyelids, giving them their current disfigured appearance. Afterwards, Dylan became withdrawn, moody and bitter. She constantly got into fights at school, was often suspended and neglected to take her prescribed anti-psychotics. In the Pilot episode, Dylan was suspended from school and had to spend the rest of the day at work with her mother. She explored the basement and found an ancient tome filled with evil spells. After reading a few passages from the book, she summoned Golan the Insatiable from the dimension of Gkruool and became his loyal acolyte after proving herself worthy. Dylan and Golan now work together, concocting evil plans and schemes to rise to power and eventually retake Gruel in the name of Golan.

Appearance
Dylan sports a gothic aesthetic, wearing dark make up around the eyes, a spiked bracelet, and her long black hair to compliment. She wears tons of white makeup to cover her face, making her skin look very pale and almost pitch white. She also wears very dreary looking eyeliner on her eyes. In the pilot season, Dylan's black eyeliner was drop-shaped and looked like three streams of black blood going down her eyes. In the series, her eyeliner steaks are now spike shaped. Her eyeliner fills in a bunch of scars that are under her eyelids, that became there when she was a little kid. Another change in the series is that her hair is more dropped downwards, and she wears boots instead of shoes. Due to this unusual androgynous appearance of a 'typical' young girl and with a male name she is often mistaken as a little boy. Golan mistakes her for a little boy twice in Pilot, once upon first meeting, and once more after he returns to Earth, thinking she is a different kid.

Personality
Bitter, anti-social and angry at just about everyone and everything around her, Dylan is a lonely child and has little tolerance for other people. A social outcast and a troublemaker, Dylan had trouble making friends at her school and had little desire to try. She is bullied by the more popular girls in school for her dark, macabre disposition. She has an interest in creepy things and death, once saying she was using rat parts to make a necklace (presumably the feet). Upon meeting Golan, Dylan was absolutely obsessed, happy to have a friend and amazed by the fact he was a demon. The two bonded almost immediately and began a life of debauchery and adventure together. Despite her outward hostility and contempt for most people, Dylan seems to have a kinder side. In Pilot, when she hears Golan is heading back home as soon as he gets the tome, she is upset at the thought of her new friend leaving her, and hides it, telling him it was stolen. When it is actually stolen, she puts up with Mackenzie B and her friends putting makeup on her and pretending to be girly in order to get it back. In Winter Is Staying she tries desperately to earn her mother's approval and feels bad about embarrassing her mother in front of her friends. In Deer Uncle Gerald she can't bring herself to steal her deceased uncle's ashes and instead dumps his ashes in the local river as he requested. Despite her annoyance towards them, Dylan loves her family as stated in A Pox on Your Pox, when she tells them she loves them before she leaves for Gruel. Once the portal does not work, she tells Golan she can't go back outside the portal, as she told her family she loved them, knowing she can't show her face after that. She also cries in this episode, as the portal doesn't work (though the bag outside had fallen off unknowingly) and she was upset she failed Golan. Her relationship with Golan often strays from "Loyal Servant" to "Loyal Friend" with relative ease. Golan takes every opportunity to belittle her and remind her how little value humans have to him. But he is shown to worry for her constantly as she worries for him as well.

Lineage
Dylan's parental status has been played with and called into question several times over the show's run. In the pilot season, it was obvious where she came from. Dylan was stated to be the daughter of Carole Beekler and her husband, Richard. However, when the series was picked up, Richard had been written off the show and it was made a confusing mystery as to what happened to him or even if Richard was or was not canon to the official series. The circumstances of Richard's departure are apparently so depressing that Keith once told Dylan "We don't have to talk about [it] until you're ready." Alexis mentions in On Golan Pond that Richard died of "Robot AIDS", but other episodes imply that Richard left the family, as the kids make fun of Dylan for having a single mother.

To further complicate matters, Carole may not even by Dylan's real mother. In Shame on Pee when everyone is told to share their embarrassing secrets without shame in order to defeat Golan's demon, Alexis Beekler proudly proclaims Dylan to actually be her daughter. This would mean Carole is actually her grandmother, and that she had been raised as Alexis' sister for any number of reasons. Likely because of the social stigma teenage mothers face combined with the fact that Alexis is too young (and too stupid, selfish and single-minded) to raise a child on her own. Whether or not Dylan was aware of this fact is unknown, however it would shed more light on Dylan referring to Carole by her first name on multiple occasions. This may be false, since Alexis would have been about ten years old when Dylan was born. Dylan may also refer to Carole by her name as a sign of rebellion.

If this is true, and not simply a one-off joke, this would also mean that if Richard Beekler still exists in this continuity, not only is he dead or simply a deadbeat, but he is also actually Dylan's grandfather, and not her father. This would also mean her actual father's identity is unknown. It's even possible that Richard died, and Dylan's "real" father abandoned Alexis and Dylan.

As if all of that wasn't enough, according to Carole's statements in Golan the Impregnable, she is unaware who Alexis' real biological father is because she had sex with several different teachers in Highschool and got pregnant without ever knowing who did it. Meaning that Dylan has an unknown uncle-in-law who might be her biological grandfather, an unknown non-biological father who might be her non-biological grandfather, and an unknown possible biological father.

Relationships

 * Golan the Insatiable - Golan the Insatiable is Dylan's almighty overlord, best friend and surrogate male role model. Dylan and Golan share a strong bond and seem to actually care about each other. In the Pilot episode of the actual series, Golan chastises Dylan for endangering herself while Dylan is elated to hear that Golan has accepted her as his acolyte. Although both claim their relationship is meant to be master and slave, the two often act more like best friends or even siblings.
 * Carole Beekler - Carole is Dylan's mother. Carole is one of the few people Dylan gets along with in any fashion. Although Dylan treats her with animosity and apathy (even often calling her by her first name instead of "mom") Dylan genuinely loves her mother and wants her approval. In the episode Winter Is Staying, Carole shows that she doesn't have any reason to be proud of her. Dylan is so ashamed of this, that she nearly betrays Golan to make her happy, but eventually a compromise is found.
 * Alexis Beekler - Alexis is Dylan's older sister. Like with most siblings, Dylan and Alexis don't get along, with Alexis playing the role of a typical bratty older sister and Dylan playing the role of the creepy, annoying little sister. Dylan shows very little patience for her. While Alexis seems to openly antagonistic towards Dylan, Dylan seems to begrudgingly tolerate her sister's existence, only fighting back when her sister starts it. Dylan mainly just ignores Alexis and never thinks about her, and overall, doesn't want to acknowledge the fact that she exists, unless she has to directly confront her. Although their hatred for each other is because they're sisters and all siblings fight, that's not the only reason. In fact, one of the more minor reasons why. In the episode Golan the Impregnable, it was shown that the main and number one reason that Dylan hates Alexis is because when she was a young child, she was best friends with Keith, and Keith served as a male role model to replace, her father (see Richard Beekler) when she was a child. The two of them were the best of friends and Keith was pretty much Dylan's only ray of sunlight in her life. Unfortunately, Alexis stepped in and met Keith and the two of them instantly fell in love. Keith was so in love with her, that he forgot all about Dylan, leaving her depressed and alone, and driven to insanity.
 * Keith - Alexis' boyfriend and Dylan's former best friend. Dylan shows open contempt for Keith all throughout the series, not even showing him the kind of passive hostility, she treats everyone else with. It is later revealed that Keith was Dylan's best friend until Alexis stole him from her, even calling him "Big Buddy Keith." Years later, even after beating Keith to a bloody pulp and making him fall into a deep coma, she still can't help but admit she was happy to spend time with him again.
 * Mackenzie B - Dylan and Mackenzie B are school rivals. Mackenzie B bullies Dylan for being creepy and weird without any actual motive and Dylan terrorizes Mackenzie B with her bizarre and terrifying things. Dylan never actually does anything bad to Mackenzie B, unless she does something to her first. However, in the pilot season, things were the exact opposite. Dylan had an unmotivated hatred for Mackenzie B and she always tortured her, while Mackenzie B had the personality of a normal little girl.
 * Swingley - A boy from Dylan's class whom she has a crush on. In the pilot season episode Dylan Crushes Reading, the two go on a date and Dylan becomes enamored, but eventually loses interest. In the actual series episode Shame on Pee, Dylan proudly proclaims her interest in Swingley only to discover that he is already in a relationship with another boy.
 * Richard Beekler - Richard is Dylan's apparent father. In the pilot season, Dylan showed little respect for Richard and spent most of her time ignoring or mocking him. In the series reboot, when Richard was written off the show, it is implied he either died or left the family well before the series even began. In the episode Golan the Impregnable, Dylan mentioned multiple times, her father leaving her, and it seemed to have been very devastating and emotionally painful for her when it happened.

Trivia

 * In the first season, Dylan is voiced by comedian Mary Mack. In the second season, she is voiced by actress and comedian Aubrey Plaza, most famous for her role as April Ludgate in the long-running television series Parks and Recreation.
 * Dylan's signature look, the mascara running down her eyes, was apparently caused when a traumatized Dylan ripped her eye sockets open after Keith abandoned her. This was likely added for the second season, due to her mascara being more tear shaped than the sharp appearance in the series.
 * Dylan has an apparent limited knowledge of sex. She has googled "what is sex" before, but still can't explain how babies are made. Meaning she either didn't look hard enough, wasn't paying attention or chickened out.
 * Dylan sleeps in a pair of footie pajamas.
 * Dylan is stated to be six years old in Escape to Tooth Mountain, even though in the first episode Mackenzie B is stated to be 8-9 years old, as she has the gazebo rented for her birthday, and its implied they are in the same grade.